'There is my wife recording': Man wants wife to stop videoing their family, but wife disagrees because she's 'big on social media'

Author image for Remy Millisky
Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
May 6, 2023 5:00 PM EDT

Thanks to smart phones, any moment can be videoed or photographed, and not everyone is okay with that. 

Smart phones have made our lives infinitely easier, I wouldn't deny that. However, the cost of everyone having a smart phone is that any and every thing is recordable now. From people's best moments to their worst, people aren't afraid to pull out their phones and start filming. Then, they often share it to social media, where they can share it with friends, rake in likes and comments, and possibly even go viral. 

It's easy to feel like we've created a societal panopticon, where no one can do anything without the possibility of being recorded. It's enough to make you want to breathe into a paper bag for a little while to calm down. Some people still really dislike being recorded, even as it becomes more and more engrained into everyday life. This guy asked a question about his wife's video recording and social media habits, and actually got a wide variety of answers from commenters. 

Next, check out another parenting story from a dad who just couldn't handle taking his kids to the supermarket. 

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 9760666624
    via Georgia de Lotz on Unsplash
  • 02
    Font - AITA for telling my wife not to record me when I'm playing with our kids? My wife is big on social media and I am lukewarm at best. Lately it's like she is recording me when I'm playing with our kids or having a moment with them.
    via u/AdSweet3108
  • 03
    Font - For example, I had to go on a business trip for a few days and my 6yo son climbed on top of me just to reconnect, cuddle and talk about his Minecraft accomplishments. In the corner of my eye, I see my wife recording this so I stuck my middle finger at her.
    via u/AdSweet3108
  • 04
    Font - The other day my 10yo and I were roughhousing in his room and he was laughing and having fun. There is my wife recording. Then today both my boys wanted to arm wrestle for cookies and there she is recording.
    via u/AdSweet3108
  • 05
    Font - They went outside to play and I told my wife not to record me especially when I'm doing stuff with the kids. It's invasive and annoying. She said that it's her kids and she thinks it's cute and it's for the kids not me.
    via u/AdSweet3108
  • 06
    Plant - I told her the next time she whips out her phone to record stuff between me and my kids, then I'm going to flick her off.
    via u/AdSweet3108
  • 07
    Font - FormulaZR Certified Proctologist [20] NTA. This feels invasive to me. I don't like pics/vids of myself either, so I may be projecting. I'd say these moments might be of great sentimental value later - either to you or the kids. Or both. I'd for sure draw the line at them being posted on social media.
    via u/FormulaZR
  • 08
    Font - More_Calligrapher_41. Agree. OP is being a little extra if the recordings aren't being out online. However, if they are then he has every right not to want to be recorded. Especially in his own home.
    via u/More_Calligrapher_41
  • 09
    Font - Gypsyheartwanderer. Drop a couple of swear words when you see her filming. Your wife's clips will get removed if she posts them... or sing Disney songs, they'll get them removed due to copyright. ΝΤΑ
    via u/Gypsyheartwanderer
  • 10
    Font - ProfPlumDidIt Pooperintendant [58] INFO - Does she post the videos on social media or are they just for her and the kids/family? 956 Reply Share Ceecee_soup Parta: pant [3] This makes all the difference
    via u/ProfPlumDidIt
  • 11
    Font - o bellesavage This is the key question. If they're remaining private then OP is sabotaging her ability to capture moments that will likely be very meaningful to their kids later on, especially after he dies. It's not about him, it's about their kids being able to connect with him through memories in the distant future. If she's posting them though, she needs his consent and is a complete AH for continuing to record when he's not comfortable with it.
    via u/bellesavage
  • 12
    Font - annang Even if they're just for her, she still needs his consent, or else she's being intrusive and rude. 41 Reply Share Working-Librarian-39. TBF, dies it matter? If OP doesn't want to be videoed he doesn't want to be videoed.
    via u/annang
  • 13
    Font - Thediciplematt Commander in Cheeks [25... ΝΤΑ You don't like it and you both need to come to an agreement. Maybe she records and doesn't post anything. Maybe she's recording because she doesn't have memories of her family? Just talk it out and come to a compromise.
    via u/Thediciplematt
  • 14
    Font - Ok so, you're NTA, BUT.. I can understand thst you don't want any of this posted on social media, and she absolutely shouldn't post anything of your or the kids without explicit consent.
    via r/AmItheA**hole
  • 15
    Font - That being said, you're going to be gone one day, and your kids are going to want pictures and videos of you together. I take lots of pics and videos of my partner with our kids (also never post without asking and getting approval), and quite frankly I wish he'd return the favour. Because the kids will have a gazillion of photos and videos of them and their dad and none of me. Just food for thought, OP.
    via r/AmItheA**hole
  • 16
    Font - Suchafatfatcat Certified Proctologist [29] NTA. It's incredibly rude for her to continue recording you after you asked her to stop.
    via u/Suchafatfatcat
  • 17
    Font - Geekrock84 A Aficionado [14] NTA for not wanting to be filmed for social media purposes but YTA if your wife is making recordings to keep for when the kids are older.
    via u/Geekrock84
  • 18
    Font - G1Gestalt A Enthusiast [9] NTA. Absolute basic recording etiquette. If anybody being recorded is not okay with being recorded, don't. She's flagrantly disregarding a boundary you're putting up and showing a massive amount of disrespect in the process. Tip: hide one of those little water guns on your person in flipping her off doesn't work. You can also carry a little portable strobe light with you to ruin the recording itself.
    via u/G1Gestalt
  • 19
    Font - G1Gestalt A Enthusiast [9] Edit: One more point. I'm in my 40s. When I go through photo albums of my childhood, they skip around between big periods of time. Which sucks. I wish my parents had taken more pics.
    via u/G1Gestalt
  • 20
    Font - Parents today have gone in the complete opposite directions. Their kids are going to have hard drives full of more pics and videos than they could ever want or need. IMO, your wife is actually subtracting from the value of these pics and videos by taking too many. Sort of like the way nobody gives a d about fireworks anymore because they happen every other day at every local event. If she wants these pics and vids to be special, she needs to cut back. IMO, of course.
    via u/G1Gestalt
  • 21
    Font - Celt42 Parta pant [2] ESH. Your wife should have gotten permission first, but I've got to say, my mom hated the camera, and I only have two recordings of her. Both are hugely important to me because I get to hear her voice. I would give anything to have a video of her playing with me as a kid. She died when I was 21. The occasional video for your kids isn't a big ask. Although she doesn't need to share them online.
    via u/Celt42

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